You Couldn't Make It Up!


TAKE A RAIN CHECK?

On the 20th of July, 1979 a robber entered a general store in Wandsworth, London and ordered the owner to hand over his takings or he would be shot. The shop keeper pointed out that the robber did not actually have a gun. The robber replied that if he was not given the money he would go away and get a gun. Having made his point he left the shop!

THE WRONG BOX!

In April,1984 two youths broke into a Yeovil village store. Seeing what they thought was a wall mounted cash box, the intrepid pair proceded to rip it off the wall and made a hasty exit. Much to their surprise the box was making a VERY loud buzzing noise. Despite hitting the box with everything they could lay their hands on-it would not stop. They had stolen the burglar alarm! Needless to say, they were soon arrested.

HUNTER,OUT FOXED

In July,1985, 4 West London criminals decided to snatch the wages from the manager of The White Knight Laundry, in Kensal Road. as he left the bank on payday.

The local police heard of the plan and arranged for the manager to leave tha bank with an empty wages bag and prepared to ambush the would be robbers in the act.

On the appointed day the robbers and the police waited outside the bank. As the manager left with the decoy bag an unknown robber dashed up and took the bag, vanishing without trace!

IDENTITY UNKNOWN!

Mr Clive ****** set out to rob the Cayton (Yorkshire) village store in 1970.

Having studied all the robberies seen on film and television, he used a cunning disguise-a full face crash helmet.

The robbery took place like clockwork and the crash helmet hid his face as nature intended. Despite this worthy attempt, the local constabulary were knocking at his door almost instantly.

It was his crash helmet with the name Clive ****** printed boldly across the top that gave the game away!

MEN AND MACHINE IN PERFECT HARMONY!

On the 15th of May,1983, the local police in Halesowen,West Midlands, England, were called out to a reported abandoned safe, on a grass verge.

A PC was despatched to stand guard until the CID arrived in force. After finger printing had been carried out, it was decided to remove the item to "safe" police custody. An immovable object was met by the irresistable force of the law---but the object refused to be taken into custody!

Not to be defied, a gaggle of PC'S were summoned and after the long arm of the law was deployed - the object again refused to be taken into custody!

Not to be beaten, a four wheel drive vehicle was summoned, with a substantial tow rope-after 20 minutes of determined struggle - you can guess the outcome.

At this point a more astute member of the assembled law enforcers noticed a very important factor that had been overlooked by the ever gathering crowd of experts.

The abandoned safe was actually a Midlands Electricity junction box, securely concreted to the ground!

As this happened a few years ago they think it has been forgotten! (Isn't that right, West Midlands Police!)

DEFINITION OF AN EXPERT

"X": An unknown quantity
"Spurt": A drip under pressure